What does mindfulness really mean, anyway? Being mindful is akin to a higher level of awareness, or being more conscious in what you think, feel, and do…because our thoughts, feelings, and actions are creating your life, either consciously or subconsciously (even INaction, because doing nothing is a choice, whether you are aware of the motives/reasons you chose it). Realistically, it’s not possible for anyone to be consciously aware of every.single.thing. In fact we are all carrying around every past pain, trauma, experience, influence, conditioning, coping mechanism, belief, and story in our subconscious. We are hard-wired in our nervous system according to all these things we have no conscious awareness of…and then we feel like we’re doing something wrong when we try and try again and try harder to create something new, but our subconscious is creating our outcomes and reality for us…but we can shift our awareness to a higher state, which will shift your outcomes in how you feel, how you think, and what your actions/efforts create. Mindfulness is a tool that you can practice with that will allow you to employ your free-will and break free from limitations. It gives you your personal power TO CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE back and enables you to apply more conscious creation in our lives that lead us out of old, limiting patterns that are operating behind the scenes.
If you want a shot at creating something new in 2020, practicing mindfulness is a great way to get started. I’m going to keep it simple to get you started and then I’ll add more simple Mindfulness Exercises throughout the year…all you have to do is follow along and do the things, which is simply answering questions honestly – and maybe asking for a little guidance when you need it. You are welcome to ask questions via email, on my FB page, or in the private FB group…
Here is the simple Mindfulness Exercise if you are interested in starting 2020 off mindfully, making conscious choices that enable you to exercise as much of your FREE-WILL as possible and FEELING GOOD about you/your life a year from now:
- What would you like to leave behind in 2019?
- What would you like MORE of in 2020?
- How do you DEFINE what makes a year good/bad? What constitutes a GOOD or SUCCESSFUL year for you?
- What actions, including with whom/what/where/how you spend your time, are aligned with what you want more of this year, or what outcome you are trying to create?
- How do you want to FEEL in 2020? What makes you feel that way NOW?
I am going to answer all these Mindfulness Questions I’ve asked you to consider to provide you with a snapshot of what it might look like to answer them. Why, you ask? Simple, because a decade ago I wasn’t able to answer these questions. I had a hard time identifying my feelings and my needs. I felt incomplete and broken, I was struggling inside – which makes it difficult to process things and see beyond what you are buried under. These questions are associated with growth-mindset and when you are stressed, in survival mode, or buried under too much shit (yours and everyone else’s…sometimes hard to discern what’s what and who’s who, especially if you are an Empath or Highly-Sensitive Person) it is very difficult to achieve growth.
I didn’t have anyone to guide me or the knowledge/experience to guide myself through these questions during the previous decade of my life…I want you to have that. Resources are SO IMPORTANT. Having resources and guidance is what we all need at some point to get us over the hurdles and past the barriers in our growth. Those barriers keep us feeling disconnected, hold us in our past patterns and pain, keep us feeling stuck and like we’re falling short of our goals/desires even though we’re working so damn hard. I want you to feel like you can answer these questions and begin creating more joy, wins, connections, and anything else you deserve and desire in 2020 and beyond.
These are some tips to get through the questions…
- Read through my answers below for inspiration…it may help spark a feeling, idea, thought, or knowing inside you
- Whatever you answer, trust it
- If you aren’t able to answer one or more of these questions and you REALLY, REALLY want to…
- Be kind to yourself. Tell yourself it is okay not to know. Remind yourself you can ask for help and asking for help means you are courageous and determined to be your BEST ADVOCATE in 2020
- Email me or set up a discovery call and ask for and receive my help…FREE help. I mean it, I am offering a lifeline to get you through this task and set your intentions for the new year. It is a start. And sometimes we need help taking that first step toward new possibilities…
Okay, like I promised, here are my responses to the mindfulness exercise questions above:
- I leave behind old sadness from my childhood and that which I brought with me into this life. I was born sad and I stewed in sadness for so long, that it was hard-wired into my DNA. I have overcome so much of it, but occasionally it trickles in and it no longer feels like a familiar discomfort, rather an annoying visitor who is not welcome. This does NOT mean I never feel sad or wish to never feel it, I’m just finished with the sadness that is not mine and is not useful to me, the sadness that limits me. I also leave behind not feeling safe. Not feeling safe in my body and in the world and in relationships is the root cause of just about everything that is uncomfortable in my life/body. It creates feelings, symptoms, and interactions that no longer make sense for me. I know I am safe now, I have survived much and I’M STILL HERE so I must be pretty damn good at keeping myself safe…so I’m settling into self-trust and leaving that old pattern of feeling unsafe behind.
- My year 2020 needs more joy, awareness of connection (to myself, others, and all/everything), and being seen/heard. It’s time for me to light it up…I’m on FIRE with projects and creations to share with the world and this year is time more visibility. To all of you who have been seeing me, thank you…you’ve helped me get comfortable with it and move beyond that old not feeling safe crap I mentioned leaving behind in 2019. I’m grateful, thanks for seeing me!
- I define a good/successful year as one that has more ups than downs. It isn’t without challenges, loss, heart-ache, disappointment, or ‘downs’ because life in the physical world comes with ups/downs. To use a familiar analogy, ‘we can’t stop the waves, but we can learn to surf’…a good year is one that I’m able to surf the waves and get back up when I get knocked down. This clarity is important for two reasons: a) it is easy to lose sight of ‘the good’ that happens over the course of a year because ‘the bad’ stuff tends to over-shadow it…especially when we experience loss of loved ones or jobs/financial security or have a series of unpleasant experiences/outcomes compounded, b) if you aren’t consciously aware (or mindful) of how you define your good/bad year, then you can get caught up in the expectation gap that leads to suffering (e.i. Disappointment, hopelessness, despair, and such). The expectation gap is that space between what you expect and what your reality is. This does NOT mean you should lower or eliminate your expectations, you simply need to be mindful of them to keep them in a healthy and realistic zone. For example, if you subconsciously define a good year as one where nothing bad happens…well, that may be unrealistic if you aren’t living in a bubble because we cannot control things that happen outside of ourselves. Hopefully, I’m making sense. Expectation awareness is crucial to avoiding the gap we’ve all fallen into at one time or another.
- Actions aligned with my MORE OF list include: launching programs, recording content, sharing what I’m doing with others, talking about what I’m doing, connecting with other spiritual pros and my sistars in my group and in my community, and taking time to TEND TO MY NEEDS more than I did in 2019 (because of busy schedules and stuff and things) so that I’m fully immersed in walking my walk, not just talking my talk. And I’mma have to leave the house more often, it’s just a simple fact. Organizing my time and adhering to a schedule is also necessary.
- I feel like a shooting star lighting up the night sky, embracing all my darkness and shining my light so that others can find their way in 2020. I feel like I can do anything, like I’m unstoppable and whole/complete. Thinking about being in my body, in this life, with my daughter, with my people, and about helping people grow and rediscover themselves or get unstuck, as well as being in my outcomes (launched programs/courses! Woot! woot!) makes me feel this way…which is a far cry from how I used to feel, and I feel like it’s been a long time in the making and 100% WORTH THE EFFORT and INVESTMENT in myself. (I’ll elaborate a bit in the next paragraph – I don’t want to muck up my list with old stuff).
It feels good to make and share this list! It shows me how far I’ve come and that provides me with cause for celebration and feeling accomplished. It can take you there, too. It is not an instant gratification feeling, the real reward is a year from now when you do this assessment again…and again the next year. This is WAY more powerful than resolutions and promises to do more, be more, etc…YOU ARE ENOUGH and you are certainly DOING enough, and mindfulness can help you focus your efforts so you can work SMARTER, not HARDER. Two decades ago, I couldn’t even see a future for myself. I was anxious and depressed more often than I wasn’t. I moved through each day like a zombie, doing what was required of me or what I was ‘supposed to do’. I was afraid to be seen/noticed and felt doomed to be stuck where I was in life…which I didn’t even recognize was a FEELING more than it was my reality. Seeing that I feel whole/complete as I enter the new year is something I never imagined I would feel…broken and, well just damaged beyond repair is the feeling I carried with me for so long that I couldn’t see past it. It feels good to feel whole…It doesn’t mean everything is perfect, either. I still have inflammation and inflammation-related symptoms in my body, anxiety creeps in periodically like a sneaky bastard, and I feel sad/angry/frustrated sometimes…I even experience negative self-talk sometimes. Feeling whole isn’t a state of perfection, it is a practice that involves having tools to tend to my needs that help me with identifying feelings or underlying patterns, processing and recovering from emotions, and those moments that blind-side us in life.
Meanwhile, the new year is here and I can’t wait to dive into some powerful new offerings, resources, and more with all of you…I hope you will take a little time to gain some clarity and mindfulness insights into yourself and what you want more of in the new year and beyond. I invite you to join me on a journey of learning, introspection, and tending to your needs by subscribing for email newsletters, updates, and offers. Or you can follow along on social media, or in the private FB group.
My offer for help stands…if you want clarity or to be mindful of what you’re consciously creating in 2020 but you need a little help or guidance, email firstname.lastname@example.org or schedule your discovery call. I will help you answer the questions in this post, or any other questions you have about tending to your needs or getting to the root of your issues, symptoms, or stuck places.
Blessings of love and light to you and yours,